I feel so trapped. I have no idea what to do with myself. I can't seem to go out alone afraid of what would happen. But I can't take the staying at home for hours and hours.

Hopes
hope for college degree
hope for good job
hope for nice house
hope for children

hope for good parenting skills

hope for end of indecent times
hope for friends that stick around
hope for time for myself
hope for personal growth

I'm about to attempt to make a meal that would cover all three. Not mixing the meal options. just making a meal that is hearty and stuff of that nature. Dave has called it Dinuchfeast. Let's see if I can do it. Well I'm off. Talk more later. cheers.

Fears
fear of car crash
fear of early death
fear of no true goodbye
fear of drowning
fear of suicide
fear of thunderstorm
fear of disease
fear of expensive cure
fear of no food
fear of obesity
fear of abandonment from my lover
fear of being cheated on
fear of having a broken heart
fear of cops
fear of shame
fear of loving too much
fear of not loving enough
fear of taking things for granted
fear of not living enough
fear of living foolishly
fear of being alone
fear of being crowded
fear of freezing
fear of parents dying early
fear of sibling dying early
fear of natural disasters
fear of insects
fear of fear

The idiots that continue to spam me with their sheep driven blogs are closed out. There will be no more comments on this blog. No more contacting me. I hate people. And I'd like to keep it that way. Your little sites on bedsheets and girlscouts make me sick. Go plug your pathetic sites elsewhere.

How does these days pass so quickly?! It's fallen into a eased pattern. I really can't describe anything that happens in our day to day lives as spectacular but it's a quiet sort of passion. Things were seeming to go great for about two weeks. I'd been struggling to get a job. And then out of the blue I got hired. Hired by this nutcase of a woman. I worked my ass off. Got good paid. and got fired for the stupidest reason. i had a little - little - trouble counting change. i used the machine to count back the change. i know i should be able to count change back but bah. i was quick i got things done. it was retarded. Anyway.

Dave is off tonight!!!! yay! We made love this morning and i can't imagine how i thought sex was suppose to be like. With him it's so.... undiscribable. He told me he was taking me out to dinner to cheer me up abit. That awful woman. Anyway. I'm excited. I'll find a job, things will settle down.

more later.

The most wonderful of all things in life, I believe, is the discovery of another human being with whom one's relationship has a glowing depth, beauty, and joy as the years increase. This inner progressiveness of love between two human beings is a most marvelous thing, it cannot be found by looking for it or by passionately wishing for it. It is a sort of Divine accident. - Sir Hugh Walpoe