How can I think this way.
i'm so disgusted and disappointed in myself. I'm thinking about working in a strip club. i'm so angry at myself and at him. how can he not care. shouldn't he care. shouldn't he want to stop me. to insist against it. i guess not.

shouldn't i insist that it's not something i should do??

i give up. i'm tired of this stress. if stripping gets the bills paid then here i go.
i have nothing to say to him right now. i have no more words left. there's nothing left. i'm going to need to give myself some time to get use to this degrading life.

i don't even want to go home anymore.
i could hitch a ride out of state.

but i know that's just being purely immature.
it's just the stress from everything. i needed time alone.
this is it. the time to group my thoughts together.
i'm ready to go home i think.