How can I fear something so much I can almost taste it. It's been hard on Dave these last couple days I've been spazing out. I love him so dearly I really feel awful with the stress I've dumped out. I've resorted a couple times to cutting. And I'm thinking about slashing my shoulder with a kitchen knife.

I'm driving myself frantic. And I'm feeling trapped and can't control the panic and i can't control the pain and the weird bubbling fliting feelings.