shoutbox special

are you ready all those worthless pointless ASSHOLES out there??? well i am

I am ready to set this shit straight and put the last nails in this coffin and kiss this pointless friendship GOODBYE

here it is

i couldn't give a flying FUCK about her or about you (anymore).

i've had so many of my buttons pushed over the last month i'm sick of your shit and everybody elses.

Don't you *ever* assume you fucking know me, not now and certianly not ever.

That post was about another friend I had made out here three years ago when shit was crazy and depressing and nobody back home remembered i even existed. including you so don't get all high on your fucking horse because you are living off kindness and sisterly love. I messed up with her somewhere down the line said some things that were unforgiveable and didn't appreciate the amazing friendship I had with her.

YOU made this into something about your "roomie" who frankly means less to me then anyone i've ever known. she's burned her bridges and fucked shit over JUST as much as I did. Just because she don't want to take it like a man and own up to her shitty behavior don't mean it didn't happen.

I've been posting casual comments on her stuff and things are pretty much as icy and polite as one should expect. If things want to change she has to call my ass up and start explaining and owning up. And I will apologize for the stuff I've said and done because i am truly regretful about things. If money is what she wants tell me where to send the check. If an apology is what she wants I will apologize and throughly mean it. But if she wants to blame our broken friendship on my shoulders then she can go suck a dick.

HOWEVER i don't need you turning into some BRAINLESS FUCKING attack dog over drama that DIDN'T exist before you brought it. You have only yourself and your fucked line of thinking and assuming shit to blame for the end of this. THINK for yourself before you attack. Don't assume shit because you don't know me anymore. You know NOTHING about my friends and my situation. I tell you bits and pieces because honestly you never are around like her. So i'm not going to tell you about my personal heartbreaks over friends and family when you only care when it's convient. Just like your big sis.

I wish i didn't feel this angry and hateful towards you because you have been a good friend to me through many things. But I can't take anymore people attacking me over shit they imagined in their heads. I can't take people assuming and judging first and then days weeks months later decide oh wait it's not what i assumed. FUCK THAT. i deserve better. and if you were in your right mind you would tell me i deserved better.

you know since you decided to avoid me and be an overgrown child about this i have no choice but to use emotional warfare and gut this friendship so you don't ever want anything to do with me. because from now on i can't have anymore to do with you. i'm slowing opening myself up to another life. and i wanted you to be there for my good times and my successes like i wanted to be there for yours. but i can't have friends who thoughtlessly attack me over shit that they can't comprehend.

you decided to hang on to the friendship you had with her. take the bullshit and the good parts. the bullshit was too much for me and so i ripped myself away from it. and now that i see the bullshit that is coming from you it's not worth it. and i'm ripping myself away. you have your "roomies" and Liz and Torbi and whoever else you've attached yourself to. you obviously never were my friend. i was just scraps just something to talk to and complain to until you had your golden friend back. well now you have her back you don't fucking need me anymore.

i wish i would've had the fucking nuts to jump a week ago. i wouldn't have to live through another dead friendship. shit. i don't need this on top of everything else. fuck you and your bullshit. and fuck her for probably sending you to attack me because she might not have nuts to attack me herself. you know what you can have her and the wonderful leeching lifestyle you continue to have. and i will just keep myself to myself.

i hate you for doing this to me. i honestly didn't need more shit piled on me. especially not from someone i actually cared and trusted.

get the fuck out of my life and don't let the door hit you on the way out.

T__T