In a single sweep every emotion was ran through me. the packing and moving was far too hard and fast. he was here in a blur of sound and motion, then gone. the emptiness and newness of the apartment was overwhelming, it's difficult to describe what it's like to go from money to not eating most days. the changes inside are subtle; the knowledge i already had isn't any more or less. perhaps it's that it's finally clicking. i can't be selfish anymore. it seems simple enough and perhaps it always was.

there's some scrub trying to pick me up today. ( http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=scrub ) The guy kept trying to play me. it was so obvious! it's sad. There are so many black men that are scrubs. I'm looking fly regardless of my outfit. Well... i lost my train of thought. he's trying to talk to me again...

he asked, "have you ever been with black man"
here's some lines
"I'm just looking for a shorty to be friends with..."
"i would never take advantage of you"
"i've had girls come after because of my body too"
"i'd never hurt you... only if you want me too"

then he kept hinting that he wanted to get a hold of me somehow....

fuck.
i wish he'd leave me alone.
i'm done with dating.
done with the "playa" men.
i'm glad i'm all settled and done.
i'd hate to go through this shit during the summer. or just at all. dating blows!
i fucking know what i look like. and i'm really tired of fending off scrubs, playas, and just plain creeps.