April. sigh. Last night I had a very detailed dream i woke from about David. When i woke i smelt his skin in the air... The closer the days come to may the tighter my lungs seem. till i can only breathe in a mix of excitement and terror. I'm so scared of meeting his mother. I'm going to be a daughter-in-law!? I'm not really much of a daughter. How can I pretentd i'm not overjoyed to see him? That this encounter is casual? When I know I'm needing to jump on him, kiss him sweetly, and have him wrap his loving arms around me. I can't though- it'd give it all away. He told his mother i was just a friend. I'm not as good an actress as I want to be. Damn appearances! I need him to be a boyfriend! I need the first moment back together joyful and giggly not stressed and strained. i hate huge secrets like this. And him and his mom have HORRID planning skills. I felt so pissed last night when he sent me texts telling me that since they will both be driving here May 15-17; that they will be able to take me to Kansas with them. *pulls hair out*. and Dave doesn't talk to his mother about her plans. i could've saved Mousie $95! He said he'd handle it all and i have no doubt at all he will. he's my baby, and i trust him with everything. Except travel plans. that will not be left to him! there are somethings that need a female fully functioning brain. I miss him!

Slide- GGD
"And I'll do anything you ever
Dreamed to be complete
Little pieces of the nothing that fall
May put your arms around me
What you feel is what you are
And what you are is beautiful
May do you wanna get married

Or run away

I wanna wake up where you are
I won't say anything at all
So why don't you slide"