*snoopy dance* I put the money down and the apartment is ours. I'm feeling so grown up today. I put so much money out there. I'm scared about it. I know he has promised himself to me and i to him. But the best laid plans . . . . Stressed now because i need to tie up the loose ends here. Then there's getting the electric and water under my name..... or his. Not sure which at this moment. Probably mine. Mid May probably between the 13-16 I'll be moving into the apartment. my sole networth is sitting on my bedside table in a wad and i've never felt so worthless and poor in my life. I know that is a silly notion. But when this world is centered around how useful a drone you are then it gets hard to see people. You see faces but they mean nothing. money drives everything. it's evil. and i hate it. but i'm alright. i try to work hard. i try to love with my heart and go places that i was told i'd never reach. . . . i miss him and think about him every few moments. he's words, images of his face, texture of his skin, quality of his laughter. is always with me.....