i don't know what's going on lately. the patch was suppose to help and maybe it is. but i've been so depressed lately. today i just didn't want to eat. but i am kinda hungry. but i don't know. i don't really want food. but i do. and i'm kinda dizzy but i think it's because of not eating... i think the metal taste is there because i've not eaten too.. i mean i've tasted pennies before and not had the patch on... so maybe it's just fine. and my legs are just being stupid. i'll be fine. ppl are goofy. i'll wait until my legs want to fall off and it tastes like a bucket of pennies are in my mouth...


yeah...
that's a good plan
whoooo hello wheelchair... goodbye walking...

what use am i to anyone anyway. my mom's right. i can't hold a job. i suck at relationships. i am a piece of crap. i can't even be a good friend. i might as well just leave. and not bother anyone anymore. i might as well just kill myself.

existance... to be or not to be at all

it's been too much lately. we went down to the office today and the one of the options to cut the lease #1 is to 2,200. The other option is to pay the rest of rent 4,400 dollars. We can't do either really. I'm just now on getting to looking at getting a new job. I'm tired of crying, tired of working, tired of being around him somedays. i just want to cut it all off. i just want to stop existing. i wish i could take everything good and bad i did back. so i don't such a mess on my hands. i just wish i could not exist. it's such a stupid shallow thing to think. much love to who is reading.

shannon